Well, I ‘m up and around. Nearly 2 weeks after my surgery and it seems like I might be able to sit at a desk and get some work done. I’ve pulled my computer into my bedroom and stolen my son’s computer desk (which his computer was no longer using) and got through about 8 helpdesk tickets tonight. I should be sleeping, but I felt I needed to get those out of the way first.

About the only pain I think I have left (with 800mg ibuprofen in my system at all times) is probably the knots where the stitches end. They hurt pretty bad. But as long as I leave on pajama pants and really good, low cut underwear, I don’t really have any trouble from that 10 inch cut on my belly. But I have noticed that the tumor was definitely taking up space because my stomach is much more flat than it used to be. Kinda bothers me. I’m afraid I may have to invest in a tummy tuck some time in the near future if it doesn’t bounce back on its own.

This has most definitely been the worst experience of my life. I’ve gone through harder (childbirth) but there was no reward whatsoever for this one. I didn’t get a beautiful baby.. I don’t get money.. as a matter of fact.. what I got was about $7000 more debt. Which is also hard to deal with. And on Wednesday I got a call from the doctor’s office telling me they want to biopsy my cervix now. It’s a wonder I haven’t completely lost my mind yet. I know if it weren’t for the boys, I would have. They keep me going. Not sure what to do about this, though. This is such a nightmare. And the doctor is so incredibly vague that I’m just losing my mind.

How do you cut out a part of someone’s body and then not tell them what to expect? And why haven’t I heard anything about the tumor yet? I was crying the other night and decided to go look up information on whether or not my hormones could be imbalanced due to the loss of an ovary, but it looks like no one online wants to say anything about the loss of one. It’s like a kidney, I guess. As long as you have one, or part of one, you’re good to go. I really think that I was crying because I didn’t know anything about what was happening. You can imagine how scary it is. Add that to other stresses and it’s a recipe for a breakdown. For me, anyway. I like to be informed. More than like, I need to be informed.

With each passing day life seems less bearable. It only seems to get worse and worse. And if my 20′s are this hard.. how will I make it through my 30′s? I didn’t expect my health to go so soon..